Rekindling old flames: Can you go back?

It has happened to you. It sure has happened to me - that chance meeting, that sometimes eerie encounter with a former love.

It happened to a friend recently and it left her breathless.

“OMG. Guess who i just ran into!” Gbemi screeched, obviously excited. Before i could imagine, she said “It's Ay! Ay - the dude i dated for almost 3 years back at the University!” She continued with how she ran into him at a conference in Ikeja; he is now a successful executive and recently broke up with Jenny - the chic for whom he dumped Gbemi 2 years ago. Still, Gbemi was trying to fall in love again. I was speechless!

I've read stories about how high school and college sweethearts break up, go on to date ( and even marry) other people and then reconnect years later;  Sometimes, it turns out to be those “happily ever after” stories. I hope that's what will happen to Gbemi and Ay. She doesn't deserve to get jilted by the same guy twice. Seems she has long forgotten how much drama and trauma Ay put her through. I'll try to mind my business and only remind her if she brings it up.

Her giddiness at this reunion reminded me of how i once ran into an old flame. She was happy to make me aware that she is now single and available; I gladly made her aware that i wasn't. But i did think about her a lot over the succeeding days and wondered what my life would be with her. I later decided it wasn't worth the potential trouble.

Many couples have broken up early to get back together again. I have met a couple who married each other for the 4th time. Miracles do happen. So do repeated mistakes.

True, some people actually can move forward by reaching back and reuniting with past loves. Some actually live happily after but others are just fooling themselves and depriving themselves of true happiness because they can't let go of failed past relationships.

I'm not a cynic when it comes to love. In fact, i am a romantic optimist who is forever hopeful. But I’ll take my chances moving forward.

In my heart of hearts, i just feel that while some old flames deserve the chance to get back together, others should just be doused with cold water.

A Good Friend

Boy likes girl, boy toasts girl, girl gist girls, girls like boy, girl agrees, boy shows off his new girl. That's that about that back in the less complicated secondary school days.

Nowadays, things aren't in black and white anymore. It is one thing for the girl to assume the role of the guy, it's another for both parties to like themselves and automatically assume the "We're in a relationship" role. The latter, which is my main concern, is in a very subtle way very dangerous ground to tread especially for the ladies. Characteristically, is the frequent calls, hanging out a lot as to suggest an item, so close to want to share any secret with and yet so far you are left plucking at rose petals - he loves me, he loves me not!!!

During my second year in School, i met a guy, Kunle and his chic, Jenny. They were such an item. Friends sometimes jester kunle, "Jenny how far?", while "how is our husband?" was a regular teaser to jenny from her girlfriends. Dinner dates every weekend, Shopping, excess care - if Jenny as much as sneezes, Reddington hospital will be receiving a patient shortly. He also appeared a jealous lover as he's always on guard even if she at the very least, gives a guy an almost full hug. Kunle had to be a man in Love. Or so i thought.

One fateful morning, she buzzed my phone and asked to talk to me in private without kunle's knowledge. Reluctantly, i agreed and on getting to see her, she broke down in tears, "Kunle broke up with me....". "you say what?", i replied shockingly. Apparently, she went to kunle's place uninvited and seeing kunle with another gurl, she starts to fume, but kunle calms her down, whispering gently, "Calm down, Why you dey vex?, I never asked you out, It's not like we were in a relationship or something.You have always been a very good friend". OMG, My emotions were playing a fast one on me as i wasnt sure whether to jump, laugh or feel pity!. "So u guys werent 'Official'...,Thats a long thing!", i continued.

Long story short, Spoke to kunle who confimed her story and says he's in a relationship now and that jenny is a good friend. Na Wa o!!!,  "Friend" i find myself repeating the word but in a way, he was right. Shopping plus Dinner multiplied by excess care is not equal to a relationship.
Jenny has since learnt her lessons - Never Assume a relationship, if he hasn't told you - He likes you and he Wants a relationship, he is just a friend. Leave it at that. Life's too short for all it is.Heed now, or you'll get to third base before realising you're just a good friend!!!!