Rekindling old flames: Can you go back?

It has happened to you. It sure has happened to me - that chance meeting, that sometimes eerie encounter with a former love.

It happened to a friend recently and it left her breathless.

“OMG. Guess who i just ran into!” Gbemi screeched, obviously excited. Before i could imagine, she said “It's Ay! Ay - the dude i dated for almost 3 years back at the University!” She continued with how she ran into him at a conference in Ikeja; he is now a successful executive and recently broke up with Jenny - the chic for whom he dumped Gbemi 2 years ago. Still, Gbemi was trying to fall in love again. I was speechless!

I've read stories about how high school and college sweethearts break up, go on to date ( and even marry) other people and then reconnect years later;  Sometimes, it turns out to be those “happily ever after” stories. I hope that's what will happen to Gbemi and Ay. She doesn't deserve to get jilted by the same guy twice. Seems she has long forgotten how much drama and trauma Ay put her through. I'll try to mind my business and only remind her if she brings it up.

Her giddiness at this reunion reminded me of how i once ran into an old flame. She was happy to make me aware that she is now single and available; I gladly made her aware that i wasn't. But i did think about her a lot over the succeeding days and wondered what my life would be with her. I later decided it wasn't worth the potential trouble.

Many couples have broken up early to get back together again. I have met a couple who married each other for the 4th time. Miracles do happen. So do repeated mistakes.

True, some people actually can move forward by reaching back and reuniting with past loves. Some actually live happily after but others are just fooling themselves and depriving themselves of true happiness because they can't let go of failed past relationships.

I'm not a cynic when it comes to love. In fact, i am a romantic optimist who is forever hopeful. But I’ll take my chances moving forward.

In my heart of hearts, i just feel that while some old flames deserve the chance to get back together, others should just be doused with cold water.